DelSquacho
By Dave

With markets collapsing, energy costs skyrocketing, and personal freedoms disappearing faster than you can say Habeus Corpus, it's clear that the end of the world is coming, and coming quickly. So how prepared are you going to be when civilization starts tumbling down around our ears and what's left of humanity is plunged into an anarchy-fueled kill orgy? If you're like most people, you will find yourself ruefully unprepared for the coming apocalypse. Luckily for you, we've assembled this handy guide, which will take you from prey to predator in this exciting/terrifying new world.

The Environment

A lot of things could have caused the end of civilization, from a limited nuclear exchange, to total economic disaster, from a global pandemic to a complete ecological collapse. Because we don't know exactly what will cause the downfall of civilization, it's hard to know exactly what the environment will be like. Nevertheless, we should speculate with reckless abandon.

If civilization dies because of some sort of nuclear Armageddon, you're going to have to be on the lookout for clouds of fallout, undetonated nuclear devices, and lots and lots of irradiated soil and ground water. Come to think of it, you might want to add a Geiger counter and an HAZMAT suit to your Christmas list this year. Getting around after nuclear war is going to present some problems as well, since electro-magnetic pulses from the atomic explosions are going to play hell with vehicles' electronic systems, while all the blast craters are going to turn our generally smooth infrastructure into a hellish moonscape.

Food and Drink

Boy, I sure hope you like canned goods, because fresh fruits, vegetables, and proteins are probably going to be pretty hard to come by. Sure, you might think you'll be able to grow/raise all of your own food, but if you're like most of the people in the civilized world, you have absolutely no clue how to do so. Therefore you will almost certainly starve to death before surmounting the learning curve unless, of course, you supplement your meager diet with Spam and Hot Dog Chili.

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